Cartman is a Creep
by moonlitelm
Summary: Cartman is completely obsessed with Kyle. These are some of the things he does during his days...I really suck at summaries, holy cow.
1. Chapter 1

Prompt: Well I was very bad and am linking diana_lucifera's prompt and nerdy_leo's prompt together. So this is part one. Mostly Diana's prompt, which was: Hatey Cartman/Kyle with Creeper!Cartman.  
Rating: PG14 for swearing, sexyness, and creepiness [nothing to sexy though]

Z

Sixteen year old Kyle Broflovski stared at himself in the mirror. He was currently sitting in a high chair at the barber shop. His long curly red hair was gone. Now it was short curly red hair. His eyes darted to the floor where his long red locks lay scattered. He felt a pang in his chest, then shrugged it off. His mom hadn't wanted him to cut it, but enough was enough. It was his hair and he could damn well do whatever he pleased with it!

"What the _fuck _did you do?"

Cartman's voice startled Kyle out of his mental ranting. He turned to face his enemy-friend, and blinked several times. "I cut my hair lard ass." He snapped finally. Kyle hopped out of his chair and quickly paid the barber.

"_WHY?_" Eric's voice sounded somewhat...shrill. Quickly, he recovered "I meant, won't your bitch of a mother freak out or some shit like that?" He asked, trying desperately to act like his usual self.

"Probably...and because I wanted to. Why the fuck do you care?"

Cartman rolled his eyes and scoffed "I don't care jewboy. I was just wondering why a pussy like you finally decided to stand up to his moooooommy" He drew the word out, smirking as Kyle's face heated with anger.

"Whatever fatass. I'm leaving." He snapped before storming out of the shop. The barber eyed Eric up and down for a moment, before shrugging and going to fetch a broom.

As soon as the barber was out of sight Eric snatched up a piece of curly red hair lying on the ground. He stuffed it into his glove, then put the glove in his pocket. The old man came back and gave him a funny look, so Eric turned and walked out.

~

Kyle did end up getting in trouble for his hair, but he didn't care. It was easier to take care of short, and plus - it made him look less like a girl, and more like a teenaged _boy._

He sighed and sat down on the slide. He was supposed to be meeting the guys here, but no one had shown up yet. Knowing them, they'd all end up being late anyway. Vaguely he heard the crunch of snow under boots. He looked up just as a dark shadow fell over him. "What the fuck Cartman?" He glared. Fatass was standing way to close for comfort.

"Why the fuck did you cut your hair?"

Kyle blinked "The fuck do you care fatass? It's my goddamn hair. I can cut it if I-" He gagged as a hand wrapped around his throat, slamming him back down onto the slide.

"Didn't answer my question jewfag." Cartman growled, eyes dark. Clearly, he wanted an answer.

"God dammit! It was too girly." Kyle hissed, kicking Eric in the shin. The larger of the two didn't even seem to notice.

"Maybe we liked it girly." Eric said slowly.

"What the fuck?"

Kyle was jerked up and shoved towards the tree line. "I said maybe we liked it girly."

"Who the fuck is 'we' you psychotic lard ass?!"

Cartman didn't answer. He merely gave Kyle a hard shove, sending the shorter boy to the ground.

"Fuck! Cartman you asshole!" Kyle shouted while pushing himself up.

Cartman's boot met with the small of Kyle's back, forcing him once again to the ground. "Stay the fuck down."

Kyle struggle for a moment longer, before falling still beneath Cartman's foot. His face lit up hotly and he turned it away. 'God not now' he groaned mentally. He could feel himself hardening.

Cartman noticed the change instantly, and used his foot to make Kyle roll onto his back. "You fucking like this?" He laughed, long and loud "You sick Jewish fuck. You like this. Wait until I tell Stan."

"No! Dammit Cartman you fat fuck!" Kyle arched up, glaring angrily up at his captor.

"Beg me not to."

"EXCUSE you?"

"I said beg me not to. I can hear Stan now. Beg me good, and maybe I won't." Eric grinned evilly down at his little Jew.

Kyle closed his eyes tightly, jaw clenched. He could hear Stan and Kenny laughing. They were getting close...He took a deep breath and started "Please Cartman..."

"Please what?"

"Please don't tell Stan..." Kyle was practically mumbling.

"I can't hear you jewfag. Please what?"

"Please don't tell Stan." Talking now.

"Louder!"

"PLEASE DON'T TELL STAN!" Kyle shouted up at Eric, eyes shooting open.

"Don't tell Stan what?"

Eric and Kyle both looked at Stan. He was standing, arms crossed as he watched the two. Kyle gave Eric a pleading look, to which Eric responded with a nasty grin.

"Oh he just doesn't want me to tell you that he has a picture of you for the background on his cell phone."

"WHAT?!"

Kyle jumped up, and rushed to Stan "No he's lying dammit! I - uh...Stan wait!" He cried as Stan turned and hurried away. Stan was after all, the only one who knew he was gay...

Eric chuckled, congratulating himself on a job well done, as he bent and picked up the glove Kyle had dropped. Shrugging, he shoved it into his pocket then started home. He wanted to get it put away before the jewrat noticed it was missing.

Z

end

Okay so it wasn't that hatey. Sorry :P I tried. I'll try to put part 2 up soon but my fingers are getting cramped from typing :P


	2. Chapter 2

Finally here is part two. Sorry it like, took me so long. Some shits been going on. Anyway I've quite fallen in love with this prompt so I'm making it an actual...fanfic. That means I'll start posting chapters [hopefully] regularly. Aaah, this one is going to be very short. I apologize, but I'm just not up for writing too much and the sedatives are kicking in XD I think Diana and Leo soo much for making me write an actual fanfic! You guys have to bug me to continue though. If I fall WAY to far behind on chapters, yell at me. And I AM going to fill all the other prompts too.

Z

However, my mom just made a grab for my laptop about half an hour ago, so my 'kind cousin' deleted a crapload of comments off of the page [because i was reading it and mother would have flipped at some of the prompts] IF your prompt has been deleted before I could fill it PLEASE REPOST SAID PROMPT. Thank you!

Prompt: Well I was very bad and am linking diana_lucifera's prompt and nerdy_leo's prompt together. So this is part two. Mostly Leo's prompt, which asked for obsession type Cartman.  
Rating: R for sure. For sex, friggen creepishness, and swearing. [and hate. but that should be a given for anything kyman!]

His hand was too big for the glove, stretching it so far the seams looked strained. He didn't care. His eyes slowly slid down his body, to where the gloved hand was wrapped around his cock. Gradually, Eric let his eyes slide out of focus. His vision became fuzzy enough that he could really, _really _imagine that it wasn't his hand jerking languidly up and down over his swollen flesh.

He came, spilling his load across the picture clutched tightly in his hand. Once Eric's breathing slowed, he carefully wiped the sperm off of eight year old Kyle's smiling face.

The fact he just came over the picture of a little boy probably made him seem like a pedophile. However, it wasn't just any little boy. It was a special little Jewish boy. That made it completely different, he reasoned with himself as he pulled a box out from underneath his bed. Inside it was a hat, a pair of boxers, a pile of photos, and a sandwich baggie full of hair. He gently settled the glove and photo in the box, before grabbing for the bag.

The red curls he had stolen over half a year ago found themselves in a familiar position - being twirled around the fingers of their ex-owners arch nemesis. Eric's eyelids drooped in pleasure as he stroked the hair over and over. It was softer than he had expected, although the smell of Kyle's shampoo had faded only a few days after he got his little prize.

Sighing, Eric laid back again his pillows. He softly brushed the hair against his cheek, eyes finally closing. Just as he found himself falling asleep, an angry voice brought him back into the world of the awake.

"What the fuck dude?!" The voice was shrill, shrieking as loud as it possibly could. The owner stood in Eric's doorway, eyes as wide as they could possibly get. It's mouth hung open in an expression similar to horror.

Kyle shook his head, and spun on his heel, fully intending to run out of the Cartman house and never come back. Before he could so much as take a step, a strong hand wrapped around his arm, flinging him back into the room.

As Kyle's vision spun, he was vaguely aware of a noise that sounded eerily similar to that of a lock clicking into place. Catching his balance, Kyle turned once more, this time to glare at Eric. Never in his life had he seen the fatboy move so fast.

"Shut the fuck up Jew." Eric ground out, eyes narrowed in concentration.

Kyle shook his head again, eyes landing on the long red hair that Cartman had dropped on the floor. He felt the heat rise to his face, and was thoroughly disgusted with himself to notice that no...his face was not the only place.

Z

I will finish updating this soon. I know I could have just saved this chapter but I really felt the need to post something after being away for so long. I am soo sorry -_-; I will continue this, tomorrow hopefully.


	3. Chapter 3

Part three. I didn't feel like updating part two, cause I kinda liked where I ended it. So we're all good, yeah? Anyway, there isn't any actual SEX in this chapter, but there's some blood [lulz] and some sexual hints. Lots of hate, naturally. Love~ 3

Prompt: Well I was very bad and am linking diana_lucifera's prompt and nerdy_leo's prompt together. So this is part two. Mostly Leo's prompt, which asked for obsession type Cartman.  
Rating: Eeeeeh....Um. Maybe 14. I don't know, there's no flat out sex or nuffin like that. [although really, lmao, it's slashpark. and south park is so dirty with thoughts and language itself, that anything should be acceptable XD]

Z

There was a tense moment of silence where both of them faced eachother. Kyle's face was battling with his hair for the 'Brightest Red Award', while Cartman stared openly at the jew rats crotch.

Slowly, Eric looked up. Lips curled into a nearly evil grin, and parted as he began to speak, "What's that you've got there, Kaaaahl?" He drew the others name out, reveling in the annoyed tick that started in Kyle's eye.

"Nothing you dumb fat fuck!" Kyle shouted, hands balling into fists at his sides.

"Yeah you're right Kyle. It's nothing. Nothing much." Cartman chortled, plastering a skeptical look on his face as he eyed the jewboy's groin, "Nothin' much."

"Shut the fuck up! It'd be more than enough to fill your whore of a mother. You know, if I wasn't against getting some sick fucking STD! And who the hell are you to talk? You probably can't even see yours fatass!"

Eric let that one slide for now.

Kyle made a furious noise, and stormed towards the door. As he brushed Cartman, their arms touched. It was all it took for Eric's control to snap. [AN: not that he had good self control to begin with...]

Kyle growled as his world was once again tumbled. This time, instead of the middle of Eric's room, he found himself bent right over fatboy's desk, a pen digging uncomfortably into his ribs.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" He shouted, kicking back at Cartman in an attempt to catch the bastard in the nads.

"Nothing you don't want faggot." Eric purred, voice dropping to a low murmur.

"I'm the faggot?! You're the one with my hair in your room! Sick dude!" Kyle shot back.

"Tch, whatever. I have it for purely scientific reasons. What? Did you think I liked you?" Eric barked out a bitter laugh, one leg kicking Kyle's apart.

Kyle's whole body tensed, "Don't even think about it you fat fuck."

Eric smirked widely "Don't think about what Kaaaahl?" He slowly pressed his groin into the other boys ass. Thankfully he wasn't hard yet - he may be a teenager, but shit. Even his stamina wasn't that good. He leaned down to whisper into the boys ear again, but found himself screaming in pain instead.

Cartman stumbled back, falling on his ass as his nose splurted blood. "_You fucking piece of shit! Goddamn Jewfag! What the fuck Kyle?! _" He cried.

Kyle lowered his elbow as he pushed away from the desk. He had blood on his sleeve, but he didn't give a fuck. "You have no right to ask me that you fatass. I knew you were low, but this is fucking ridiculous! What, you don't just get your kicks out of making fun of me now? What the fuck is wrong with you?" His voice was strangely calm, and he noticed that the hard-on he had been sporting was gone.

Eric bit the inside of his cheek, using a dirty shirt to mop the blood off of his face. He chose not to answer Kyle's question, not entirely sure of the answer himself.

Kyle closed his eyes for a brief moment, before shaking his head. "Whatever. I shouldn't be fucking surprised. You've done worse. You gave me fucking HIV for fucks sake." He threw a glare up onto his face. "Well are you coming fatass?"

"Shut up Jew." Eric said half-heartedly, picking himself up off the floor. "The fuck are we going anyway?"

Kyle sighed and unlocked Eric's door. "Wendy's birthday remember?"

"I don't want to go to that hippy bitch's party." Eric protested, grabbing his coat off the back of his chair. He tugged it on. It was a darker red than the one they wore as kids, and he looked good in it - even if it was kind of snug around his belly.

"NO ONE wants to go Cartman. We're going for Stan." Kyle admitted reluctantly as they headed down the stairs. He stood in the doorway of the kitchen as Cartman went to wash his face. He knew that the fat nazi bastard was going to give him pay back for nearly breaking his nose.

As he watched Cartman fix himself up, Kyle mulled over what exactly at happened. The fact that it had indeed happened didn't bug him as much as the fact that...he didn't care. Well, sure he was pissed off. But really, what about? His temper was more or less cooled now. He should be livid. Any regular straight man would, with some fat dude rubbing their junk up against their hiney, or keeping their fucking hair as a momento.

Kyle and Eric were out of the Cartman house and walking towards Wendy's in less than ten minutes. The cold from outside finished relaxing Kyle, as he missed one very important detail.

He had said it himself.

Any regular _straight _man.


	4. Chapter 4

I'm surprised by how fast this story is coming out of me. Usually I take forfriggenever to update. I guess it's just cause there's so much you can do in SP. This particular chapter is 100% for Diana and Leo since they asked each for Creepy!Cartman and Obsessed!Cartman.

Prompt: Well I was very bad and am linking diana_lucifera's prompt and nerdy_leo's prompt together. So this is part two. Mostly Leo's prompt, which asked for obsession type Cartman.  
Rating: PG14. Again, no sex scene. Sorry guys, but they gotta work up to it~  
Warning: I warn you all now, that Cartman is taking his creepiness up to a whole new level in this chapter. Obviously, I can't say what it is right now, because that would ruin it :P But yeah. It's kind of gone past the stalker and collection of innocent objects phase.

They walked in silence towards Wendy's house. It wasn't really an awkward silence, but not quite a friendly one. Really, it was just because neither of them could figure out what to say. All Kyle could think about was fatboy rubbing against his ass, and all Eric could think about was ripping off the Jews hat.

Click. Watch out people, Cartman's got an idea.

"Hey Jew. Where are we meeting Stan?"

"He's already at Wendy's. He went there early to help her set up." Kyle responded, eyes darting over to fatass. "Why?"

"I have to take a wicked piss. I'm not waiting till we get to the she-hippie's house." Eric complained as he slowed to a halt. Kyle kept walking for a few seconds, before turning to scowl.

"Fine whatever. We'll stop off at my house. I forgot my cell phone anyway." He snapped, hurriedly continuing on his way. Eric picked up his own pace, making sure to walk ahead of Kyle. Leading the boy to his own house.

Kyle sped up as well, walking beside Eric. Eric moved so he was in front.

"What the hell fatass?!"

"Tch. Jews should walk behind their masters, not beside or infront of them. Don't you know anything Kyle?" Cartman chuckled, giving his companion an amused look.

"Fuck you! And your racism! Go piss on a fucking tree, bitch!" Kyle snarled, heading up his walkway. Cartman followed, a lazy grin on his face.

"Oh I'm the bitch am I? Whose the one always nagging, hm, Kyle?"

"Shut up fatass. Go piss on a tree. You're not using my bathroom." The Jew responded, slamming the door in the Nazi's face as hard as he possibly could. It bounced back, and he grunted in pain as the door knob met with his hip.

Cartman pushed his way into the house, glad that he usually wore steel toed boots and shoes. The Jew could have actually hurt his foot if he hadn't been wearing them!

"God dammit." Kyle muttered, rubbing at his side. He was going to have a bruise. First the pen to the ribs, now a knob to the hip. Seemed like he was always getting injured or prodded around the -

Prodded.

Kyle's face lit up with heat and he stormed into the kitchen, "Whatever. You know where the washroom is. Just don't clog my fucking toilet again!"

Eric shook his head and walked leisurely up the stairs. He stopped only once before he got to the bathroom, to poke his head into Kyle's room. He snorted to himself - for someone who went on about how he, Eric, was a fat slob...Kyle's room was rather messy. Clothes on the floor, an empty cup at his desk. Cartman wondered how he got away with it, considering how insane his mother was.

Once in the bathroom Eric put his back pack on the ground. He locked the door carefully, then pushed the shower curtain to the side. There was a tray type thing hanging in the corner. Each level had someone else's name on it. Carefully, he reached for the shelf labelled 'Kyle B', and grabbed a bottle of shampoo. Flipping the lid open, he took a small sniff.

Cartman's eyes rolled and he bit back a moan. Oh yeah. Definately the Jew's shampoo. Darting his eyes around the bathroom to make sure there were no sneaky Jew's hiding in any corners, watching him, he set the bottle on the counter where the sink was. He turned the water on, to hide any noises his might make, as he slid his zipper down. Jesus, he was hard already.

Laughing breathlessly, Eric pulled himself out. He grabbed the bottle again, pouring some of the thick liquid onto his aching cock. Hissing at the cold, he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. He felt himself twitched and opened his eyes again, staring down at himself. The stuff was white, and the way is was dripping off of him...He could practically imagine that it was Jew jizz on his dick. Especially with the scent of Kyle's hair pouring into his nose with every deep breath he took.

Finally Eric lowered his hand and wrapped it around himself. He started off with slow strokes, thumb brushing against the crown of his cock before every downward pull. He wasn't going to last long, and he knew it. Not when he was doing this in the Jew's bathroom. Moaning, he threw his head back and picked up the pace. His hips began to thrust forward, and his free hand grabbed onto the back of the toilet, to help stabalize his body. He grunted, tensed, and finally came. His hand worked around to the head of his cock, catching everything he spilt.

Eric reached into his back pack once more, pulling out a small, clear bottle. With his jizz free hand, he took the lid off. Quickly, he squirted some of Kyle's shampoo into that bottle. Once he was done, it was tucked safely back into his bag. He grinned finally, and carefully removed the top off of Kyle's shampoo. Ever so slowly, Eric began to drip his now cooling sperm into the bottle. Once the cap was on, he shook it to make sure everything was mixed.

He washed his hands, put the shampoo away, then flushed the toilet. Just in case the sneaky Jew bastard was listening. He was about to leave when something else caught his eyes. It was a plastic container, with the words "Needle Disposal" printed across the front. He leaned forward to examine it, head tilting. Needles?

Right. The ginger bastard was a diabetic. Eric eye's widened as he took the lid off and peered inside. Dozens of insulin needles had the box filled up to about halfway. He snorted, and went to close the box when he noticed that one of the top needles had _blood _on the tip. Apparently Sheila hadn't been all that careful when poking her little Jew rat.

He sighed, and once more reached into his bag. Out came another bottle, and his leather winter gloves. Tugging them on, he pulled the blood stained needle out and tucked it safely into the bottle.

Eric practically jumped out of his skin when a banging began on the door "Hey fatass are you fucking done?! I told you not to clog my toilet! Hurry up or we'll be late! Or do you want to listen to Wendy bitching about us not caring enough to be on time?"

"I don't care enough to be on time!" Eric snapped back, hurriedly closing the box. He zipped up his bag, and slung it over his shoulder.

"That's fine and all, but I for one don't want to listen to her. I have a hard enough time trying to ignore you, let alone the both of you. So hurry it up!" As Kyle finished the sentence, he found himself face to neck with Eric. Fatass had finally come out.

"Whatever Jewfag. Come on." Eric shoved at Kyle's shoulder, hard. Grinning like a madman when the Jew began shouting at him about being a 'fat nazi bastard'.

It took them another fourty minutes to get to the party when it should have only taken them fifteen.

Kyle, not wanting to let Cartman get away with his racist comments, had started a snowball fight.

'Mature my ASS,' was the only thing that went through Cartman's mind.

~

I actually really kinda like this chapter. I know it didn't have much in it, but writing someone being so creepy took a lot out of me. Hope you guys like it ~ Ah I love Creepy!Cartman  
EDIT: BTW I don't hate Wendy Even though this chapter seemed kinda like Wendy bashing, I do love her!! Really!!


	5. Chapter 5

You guys have no idea how happy you're making me by reading this. I usually have such a hard time keeping with fics but you guys are making it soo easy! 3

Prompt: Well I was very bad and am linking diana_lucifera's prompt and nerdy_leo's prompt together. So this is part two. Mostly Leo's prompt, which asked for obsession type Cartman.  
Rating: PG. Nothing at all dirty in this one, sorry. Just a bit of drama~

Z

"Dude!" Cartman cried as they walked through the front door of Wendy's house. It wasn't at all what they expected from the she-hippie. There was music blaring, smoke floating through the air, and Kyle swore that some of the other people looked a little bit drunk.

The two boys split apart from eachother as soon as the door closed behind them. Kyle wandered off to find Stan, while Cartman headed over to see what kind of food they had.

"Typical" Kyle muttered, rolling his eyes at the fat fuck. After searching for his super best friend for a few minutes, he gave up and went to Bebe. "Hey. Where's Stan?"

Bebe broke away from her discussion with another girl to answer him, "Oh. He's upstairs trying to talk to Wendy." Noticing Kyle's confused look, she continued, "Stan and I set up the party for her. She thought it was just a get together. Anyway, she got a little upset. She didn't want all this to happen at her house. She thinks her parents are going to kill her."

Kyle shook his head and went upstairs, to find Stan outside Wendy's door. The taller, dark haired boy had his forehead resting on the door, eyes closed. "Wendy, come on. I didn't think you'd get this upset. We just wanted to do something nice for you!"

Kyle watched as Stan nearly landed on his face. Wendy had flung the door open to glare at her boyfriend.

"Something NICE for me Stanley?"

Kyle cringed. She only called him Stanley when she was really, _really, _pissed off.

"Something nice? They brought alcohol for Christ's sake! If they break anything, I'm in deep trouble! Getting me in trouble on my birthday is not nice."

Stan regained his balance, backing away from his angry girlfriend. "Look, I'm sorry okay? We thought you'd like to have everyone over. I mean, really. When's the last time everyone got together just to have fun? We're always off doing our own thing, you know?" His voice was pleading as he tried desperately to explain it to his girlfriend.

"You thought I'd like this? God Stanely. I only wanted my friends over! Just you, Bebe, and Kyle! I told you that. If you honestly thought I'd like this, you don't know much about me at all!" Wendy crossed her arms over her chest, never once breaking eye contact with Stan.

"Hey. That's not fair. Bebe wanted to do this too."

"But you're my boyfriend and you should have known better. Stan..." Wendy's voice lost most of its venom as she reached out to hold his hands, "We've been dating for a long time. I think it's time that both of us just...I think it would be better if we broke up. We make great friends, but I'm so sick of arguing."

Kyle promptly turned and headed back downstairs. That was getting a little too personal for him. He lowered his gaze and kept walking through the mass of people. Eventually he found himself standing beside Cartman.

'Tch, go figure. The fatass' He mentally grumbled, grabbing a glass of the 'punch'.

Thankfully, Cartman was too busy talking to Craig and Clyde to even notice that the Jew had popped up beside him. Kyle sighed in relief, moving to take a seat on the couch. He managed to converse a little with Token, while keeping his eyes firmly fixed to the stairs. Stan would need him at some point.

Ten minutes later, Stan came bouncing down the stairs. Eyes angry, and with a bright red hand print across his face, he stormed out the front door. Kyle stood to follow, but was interupted by Wendy coming downstairs.

Her eyes were red from crying. She turned the radio off, and quite clearly told everyone to "Get the hell out".

Kyle didn't know what was going on, but he was sure he'd get an earful from Stan once he caught up to him.

Only Kenny had noticed Craig slip out of the house after Stan. He shook his head and grabbed Kyle's arm when the redhead walked by, "Kyle. Just let him cool for a bit, okay?"

"Look, Kenny. I have to go see if he's okay. If he wants me to leave him alone, I will. But I have to go make sure that -"

"Dude, don't worry. Craig's with him. He'll be fine." Kenny slung around the Jew's waist, tossing Cartman a dirty grin as he led the shorter boy out of the house. He made sure to brush his hand dangerously close to Kyle's jean clad ass, as they walked by the fatboy.

Kyle was about to tell Kenny that he was certain Craig _hated _Stan, when he felt the blond being ripped away from him.

Everyone stopped their disapointed murmuring when Kenny went flying into the food table, knocking the punch and several food items off of it, and onto the floor.

"What the fuck Cartman?!" Kyle shouted, darting over to the table to make sure Kenny was all right.

The blonde pulled himself into a sitting position, wearing a shit eating grin on his face. He was highly amused despite the food and juice seeping into his already dirty jacket. "Aww what's wrong Eric? Don't want any-Gah!" His words were choked off as a hand wrapped around his throat, pressing him back down into the mess.

"Shut the fuck up poorboy. I was merely saving Kyle from having his ass groped by a faggot pervert like you." Cartman responded, making sure to be loud enough that everyone could hear him.

Kyle's eyes flashed with anger, "Oh like you can even talk about ass grabbing!" He would have pointed out that Eric had practically humped him just a few hours ago, if it wouldn't have made himself seem like a homo.

Eric's hand loosened on Kenny's throat. The blonde quickly pushed it away, then slid off the table, standing on the other side. "What's that supposed to mean Kyle?"

Kyle felt himself blush _again. _'I really have to stop doing that' He told himself, shaking his head at Kenny. "Nothing. Just that Cartman's a big fat nazi homo, who probably jacks off to his mom's porno collection!"

As everyone took that moment to laugh at Cartman, Kyle made a beeline for the door. Once outside, he took a deep breath and looked around. 'Now if I were a Stan with a Craig, where would I go?' he mused to himself.

Before anyone else could make their way outside, Kyle started walking. He figured that going to Stan's place would probably be the best bet. Usually when him and Wendy got into a spat, he went and hid in his room to sulk.

Soon he found himself knocking at Stan's door. Randy answered and told Kyle to just head on upstairs. Since there was no mention of Craig, Kyle assumed that Stan was up there alone. He trudged up the steps, following the familiar hallway to Stan's room. He didn't bother knocking - they never asked for permission to enter eachother's rooms.

Flinging open the door, Kyle sighed and raised his head, prepared to give Stan the "I'm sure Wendy will come around in a few days" speech. However, the redhead found himself speechless as he was met with a sight that was _most definately _NOT Stan sulking.

No, it was Stan with a mouthful of tongue. Craig's tongue.

"Stan! What the fuck!" Kyle shouted. His voice broke the two apart. They had been so absorbed in eachother that neither of them had even noticed Kyle entering the room.

"Kyle! Um. Hi. This is Craig..." Stan said nervously. He bit his lower lip, and eyed the boy sitting beside him on the bed.

Kyle pulled a Stan, and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Yes. I know Craig. I've known Craig almost as long as I've known you, Stan. Now can you just tell me what the fuck is going on?"

"I thought you were the smart one in your group? It should be pretty obvious." Craig replied sarcastically, giving the Jew an annoyed look.

Kyle felt his eye begin to twitch for the second time that day. "I wasn't fucking talking to you."

"So?"

"Look, Kyle. It just - it happened. It just happened." Stan got off the bed and walked towards his best friend.

"Is this the first time?" Kyle asked, pointedly ignoring Craig.

"Well, yeah. I mean - yeah. Yeah. It's the first time."

Kyle raised an eyebrow. Oh. Stan didn't sound too convincing there. He sighed softly, "Look. I'm gonna go. I'll talk to you later okay. Then you can tell me what's going on." He paused, "Okay, not what. But - ack. You know what I mean! Look, I don't want any nasty details." Kyle quickly left the Marsh house.

He knew he couldn't go home pissed off and confused as he was. His mother would nag at him until he told her, or lied. And then she'd freak out and tell Sharon and it would just be one giant mess.

He couldn't go to Kenny's, the kid probably wasn't even home. Plus, he didn't really like it there anyway. God, did he even have any friends beside Stan and Keny? Kyle felt himself becoming more miserable with every step he took.

That was until he looked up, and found that he was standing outside Cartman's house. Frowning, Kyle mentally picked up a shovel and began to dig his own grave, just as his hand reached out and pressed the door bell.

Z

Yeah it's a pretty uneventful chapter. I just wanted again, to update, but more importantly to write. Not my favorite chapter, but I wanted something a bit more sedate after how fucked up the last one was XD Stan and Wendy broke up :O Oh well. I mean, really. Who stays with someone from grade four, all the way to high school or college? That's just lame.


	6. Chapter 6

Sadly enough this is the last chapter. I'm surprised I actually finished this. First fic I've complete in years ~ I hope everyone enjoys it and doesn't hate the smex too much. I always feel funny writing smex scenes XP Sorry for putting this off for so long. Forgives me? Pwease? I loves you...I will give you a cookie? ;-;

Prompt: Well I was very bad and am linking diana_lucifera's prompt and nerdy_leo's prompt together. So this is part two. Mostly Leo's prompt, which asked for obsession type Cartman.  
Rating: R because there's finally some sechs XD

Z

Kyle blinked several times. That was the _third _time he had rang the doorbell. No answer. He looked around for a moment, before reaching forward to grasp the doorknob. Turning it carefully, he did a mental victory dance when he discovered it wasn't locked.

Kyle walked inside and closed the door behind him. He removed his boots after stomping the snow off, but left the rest of his winter gear on. He didn't want to stay at fatboy's house for too long. He was just there to get Cartman to tell him he was crazy, and that he had hallucinated Craig and Stan sucking face. Right? Right. Right...

He made his way up to Cartman's bedroom, not even bothering to knock on the door. Fatboy never knocked at _his _house so it was only fair.

Eric was stretched out in is bed, reading. Reading?

Kyle did a double take and rubbed at his eyes. He shook his head, and looked back at Cartman. No, the book was still there. "Fuck. I really am going crazy."

Cartman turned his head lazily to face Kyle. "What the fuck are you going on about now jewboy?"

Kyle made his way into the room, flopping down into Cartman's computer chair. If he had known that the fatass had jacked off there only hours before, he probably would have gone and burnt his clothes...then given himself a shower in bleach. "Well, first I saw Stan making out with a dude" Even if this Cartman was a hallucination, he still wasn't going to tell on Stan (fully) "And then I come here, and you're reading. What the fuck is that anyway?"

"It's for school dumb ass. And you're not fucking crazy - well, not because of that anyway. Ginger rat." Eric pushed himself up onto his elbows, giving Kyle an annoyed look, "I always knew Stan was a faggot anyway. Didn't everyone? Wendy totally wore the hippie pants in that relationship."

"Stan's not a fag!" Kyle argued, despite he himself being the one point it out.

"Yeah, whatever." Eric rolled his eyes and looked back at his book.

'Cartman definately does _not _read. Not even for class. He always just copies off of me. I'm crazy. Maybe I'm dreaming? Ugh, I probably drank something at Wendy's party and passed out. Yeah...That's probably it.' Kyle told himself, beginning to feel calm again. He eyed Eric up and down for a second, before grinning widely. Well, if it was a dream...

"You like my hair, huh?" He asked, lowering his voice to what he hoped was a sexy purr.

Cartman gave him a bewildered look, "What?"

"You had some of my hair." He walked closer, eyes filled with amusement. "Do you like my hair?"

"Are you fucking high?"

"No. I'm asleep." Kyle flashed a smile, crawling onto the foot of the bed.

"Oh. You're sleeping huh? You usually hit on me in your sleep?" Cartman's lips quirked into a smirk as he settled the book on his night stand.

"Only sometimes." Kyle whispered, as if it was a very deep and dark secret. (which is was)

"Mm. So you're sleeping right now." Cartman murmured. Kyle had crawled up his body, and was sitting comfortably on his thighs.

"Mhm. I'm sleeping." He nodded down at the fatboy.

"Good. Because you know I'd never touch you in real life," Eric drawled, hands sliding against the jew's legs.

"Like I'd touch you in real life fatass." Kyle huffed.

"You so would. You're always jumping me, but I never expected you to be queer for my hot bod. You can't dream about me, and then say you don't find me hot Kaaaaahl" He drew the boys named out, just to see him twitch.

"Whatever Cartman. You're not good enough for me in real life. Heh, maybe this is your dream?" Kyle's hands settled against Eric's chest, holding the jew up as he leaned over the other boy.

Cartman didn't respond to that one. He just shook his head and hooked his hand around the back of Kyle's neck, tugging him down for a kiss. Kyle made a noise in the back of his throat, and bit Cartman's lip, pulling away.

"Definately your dream" He mumbled, face only a few centimetre's from Cartman's, "I would never do something as faggy as kiss you." He blinked and forced his eyes opent he rest of the way, not even realising they had closed.

"So it's my dream now?" Eric asked, fingers curling up under Kyle's hat to twist in the short red curls he found hiding there.

"Yeah." Kyle breathed, smiling faintly.

"Ah. Well in the case..." Eric changed their positions, rolling so the jew was lying under him. When Kyle went to sit up, he pushed his hand down onto him, holding him in place.

"The fuck're you doing?!"

"It's my dream, so we're doing this my way." His hand grabbed onto the hat, ripping it off and tossing it between his bed and the wall.

"Hey!" Kyle protested, cheeks flushing. He really _really _didn't like his hair.

"Shut up." Cartman's lips crashed down against Kyle's again, one of his teeth catching a lip and ripping the skin a bit. The jew hissed and flicked his tongue out to lap at the small cut, making an annoyed noise when Cartman's tongue pushed his out of the way. He shivered when the fatboys tongue tickled at the roof of his mouth.

'This has to be someone's dream' A small part of Kyle's brain spoke up, 'He is entirely too good at that...'

It took Kyle a moment to realise there was a hand up his shirt, and he released a muffled yelp when flat nails dragged over a nipple. He turned his head away from Cartman, hands groping at the other boy. He wasn't a girl - wasn't going to lay around and let Cartman do all the work.

He knew where one of the fatboys hands were, but where was the second hand? Kyle tried to raise his head to figure that out, but was pushed back down by Eric's face, the other boy growling "Stay", against his mouth, before giving his nipple a rather hard _pinch._

Kyle's hips twitched upwards when he found out where Eric's other hand was. Realizing he was hard, Kyle arched again in an attempt to get some form of relief. Eric snorted and pushes the jews hips down, before finally removing his hand from inbetween them.

Kyle managed to finally raise his head, blinking at the second hand which was now in his line of vision. What? A belt? His eyes went wide and Kyle shoved at Cartman's chest "What the fuck dude?!"

"Shut up. We're doing this my way, remember? My dream, my way." Cartman explained as though talking to a very young, mentally handicapped child.

It earned him a punch in the chest.

Both of Kyle's hands were captured by Cartman, who looped the belt around them and tightened it. Kyle glared up at the fatass, as his wrists were being pinched by the tough leather. "What the fuck?" He asked again.

Cartman ignored him, hands tugging down the zipper of Kyle's pants. He moved to the end of the bed, grabbing the squirming, thrashing jew by his ankles. He narrowly avoided getting a kick to the face. He grabbed at the hem of Kyle's jeans, giving a hard tug to pull them off the boy.

He grinned like a pervert, "No panties?"

"Fuck off!" Kyle shouted, attempting another kick at Cartman's face.

Cartman reached over and snagged a bottle off of his window sill. He twisted the lid off, as he used his weight (lord knows he has enough to spare) to pin one of Kyle's legs down.

Kyle tensed, eyes wide as he stared up at Cartman. He never got fucked in his dreams. This was new.

Eric's hand curled over the calf of Kyle's free leg, forcing the limb up, and to the side. He pinned it there, shifting his grip to make sure that Kyle couldn't get away. His free fingers dipped into the bottle, coming out covered in a come-like substance. The liquid was thick, but it was slick. He didn't have any real lube at hand, so that would have to do.

Kyle closed his eyes and put his bound hands over his flaming face. He felt like such a fucking _girl _lying under the fatass, with his leg spread. Ugh, not even just a girl a who-

Oh.

Okay, that was kind of nice.

Eric snorted to himself when the jews hips pressed down against his hand. He already had two fingers in. 'Slut' he thought to himself. He knew the jew was a fag, but really. This was just _too _easy. He worked the two fingers in a few times, before shoving in a third. He grinned at the hiss of discomfort he was rewarded with.

"Slow down fatass!" Kyle snapped, his leg tensing and jerking as it tried to free itself, so he could kick.

Cartman squeezed tightly, knowing there was probably going to be a bruise the next day. He leaned back, finally releasing Kyle's leg. He searched his pocket for his wallet. He always kept a condom in there, just in case. (Just in case usually involved a drunk Bebe after a good football game)

He used his teeth to rip the packaging, before rolling the strawberry flavored rubber onto himself. He wasn't really that long, but fuck, was he thick. He smirked. This was probably going to hurt.

Cartman settled back against the headboard, snagging the jews bound arms and pulling him into his lap.

"Okay Cartman look -"

"Shut up, I'm dreaming."

Kyle's face scrunched up in worry, before he looped his arms around Cartman's neck. At least he was on top. He didn't feel like such a fucking girl anymore...

Cartman wrapped a hand around the base of his cock, grabbing the jews hip and forcing him down.

Kyle yelped in pain, nails finding purchase in Cartman's soft back. He felt something warm against his fingers, and he realised he'd drawn blood. 'Serves the fat fuck right!'

Eric groaned in pleasure. Kyle cringed in disgust.

The jew wasn't given any time to adjust. Cartman's hands wrapped around his hips, and he began thrusting up into that tight heat. For a moment he wished he hadn't worn a condom, so he could feel all of the jew.

Kyle hissed, tilting his head back. It hurt. There was no pleasure in this right now. 'Why the fuck do the guys in gay porn seem to like this shit?'

Cartman rolled his eyes, grabbing the Jew by the neck and pushing him so he was leaning back. He thrust again.

"Ah! FUCK!" Kyle managed to yelp. He couldn't breathe too good, with Eric's hand pressing his throat, and his arms felt sore from being stretched, but FUCK, what was that?

"There we go. You like, don't you? Such a fucking girl Kahl" He drew the others name out, this time to add insult to injury...well, still to see him twitch.

"Not a- a- Ah!" Kyle mewled, hips pressing down against the fatboys. He was surprised his legs could stretch far enough to get around him.

"Really? You squeal just like a girl" Eric laughed, releasing Kyle's hip. He didn't need to control it anymore, the jew was doing a pretty good job of fucking himself on Eric's dick. The hand on Kyle's neck slid down to grab a nipple again, while the other fisted in Kyle's hair, keeping the jew stretched back.

"Sh-shut up fat a-ass" Kyle growled, forcing his hips down harder. It was Eric who moaned this time, lips parting and eyes fluttering half shut. Kyle nearly cringed at the thought of Eric being even remotely attractive. Who knew sex faces were so hot?

The nazi kept muttering to Kyle about how damn _good _he looked, bouncing on his dick. About how hot he sounded, just like fucking a pretty girl.

The words faded from Kyle's mind as Eric's hand wrapped around his cock. It only took three strokes before he found himself jizzing, all over his own coat. His thrusts faltered, and Eric's hands dropped to his hips to keep forcing him up and down.

Vaguely Kyle could hear himself telling Eric to stop. He was too sensitive to keep going like that.

Eric groaned deep in his chest, pulling the jews hips down as far as they could go. He held him there for a few moments, before slipping out.

Kyle was only partially aware of Eric untying his wrists and shoving him down onto the bed. He yawned once, and fell into a deep sleep.

Z

Kyle woke up, in his bedroom. He sat up and looked around. So, okay. That was his dream. Definately something new. He raised a hand to scratch at his head.

That was when he realised his hat was gone.

Blinking, he leaned over the edge of his bed to see if he had knocked it over. He cringed when he caught sight of his coat. Lying on the floor, a giant white streak up the middle.

Okay, so he jacked off on his coat. No big deal. That stuff happened all the time...except, well...Not really.

He swung his legs over the edge of the bed, and yelped when a pain shot up his spine. Okay, so his ass hurt. He probably took a big dump earlier. He couldn't remember it, but hey. He had been drunk. Right?

He reached into his pocket to pull out his cell phone. Best text Stan and figure out what was going on. His fingers came into contact with something...squishy. It felt like a balloon. He pulled it out, and then tossed it across his room.

A dirty condom. What. The. Fuck?!

Okay...SO maybe one of the guys played a trick on him. He took a deep breath to calm himself, and found his nose wrinkling in confusion.

"Why do I smell my shampoo?"

Z

End!

In case no one understood, Eric used the shampoo he had stolen from Kyle's, as lube. XD It's horrible I know. He also stole his hat, as a keepsake~

But he left Kyle something in return!

Come stains and dirty condoms!

Again, sorry for the shitty sex scene. They always make me feel awkward. And no, they didn't take off Kyle's coat. He was fucked in his winter coat XD And socks. Mm, socks. *has a sock fetish*


End file.
